When I grew up in Ireland, attending funerals was simply part of life. From a young age, it was common for children to be involved in the grieving process. We learned how to participate in the ceremonies, how to support those who were bereaved, and where we fit into the process. We understood the steps—where to sit, whose hand to shake, what to say. It became second nature. This familiarity allowed us to be present, to connect with others, and to genuinely engage in the process of remembering, grieving, and supporting one another.
When I moved to London, I encountered something different. Many of my friends there hadn’t attended a funeral until well into their adulthood. When they finally did, they often felt uncomfortable, unsure of how to act, and anxious about doing something wrong. Because they hadn’t been part of the process before, they couldn’t fully engage with the purpose of the funeral itself. It wasn’t just about showing up—it was about understanding how to be present, how to connect, and how to support. This lack of familiarity made the experience far more daunting than it needed to be.
How This Relates to Agile
This mirrors what happens when organizations attempt to shift to Agile ways of working. Many teams, especially those from traditional, hierarchical backgrounds, find themselves in unfamiliar territory. They’re suddenly asked to participate in ceremonies like daily stand-ups, sprint reviews, and retrospectives—activities that feel strange, awkward, and out of place. Without having experienced these processes before, they struggle to understand their role, the purpose of these ceremonies, and how to engage effectively.
Just as my friends in London found it difficult to grasp the purpose of a funeral because they’d never been through one, teams new to Agile often miss the deeper value because they’re focused on trying to navigate the unfamiliar rituals. They get caught up in the mechanics—the ‘what’ and ‘how’—without fully understanding the ‘why.’
Embracing the Journey in Agile
But here’s the key: The more teams participate in Agile practices, the more comfortable they become. Over time, they start to see beyond the rituals themselves and understand that the true purpose of Agile isn’t about sticking to a rigid set of rules. It’s about fostering collaboration, learning from each other, and delivering value incrementally.
In Agile, ceremonies like the sprint retrospective or the daily stand-up aren’t there to check a box. They’re opportunities to reflect, adapt, and improve together. The more teams immerse themselves in these practices, the more they realize that Agile is about creating an environment where people can share ideas, solve problems, and celebrate successes in a way that traditional methods don’t allow.
It’s not about getting it perfect the first time—just as attending a funeral isn’t about knowing all the right things to do and say from the start. It’s about showing up, participating, and understanding that these practices are designed to help the team connect, support each other, and navigate the journey together.
The Lesson
For teams transitioning to Agile, the discomfort and uncertainty they feel are natural, just as it is when attending a funeral for the first time. But with time, practice, and patience, they begin to understand the deeper purpose behind Agile practices. They start to see how these ceremonies foster collaboration, open communication, and a shared sense of ownership over the work.
Agile, like the experience of being part of an Irish funeral, becomes less about the individual actions and more about the connections and growth that come from being part of something bigger. The more you engage, the more you start to appreciate that Agile isn’t just a process—it’s a way of working that brings people together, helps them learn, and ultimately allows them to deliver something meaningful.
